


Snakes and Calla Lilies

by thoughtlessblogger



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 20:30:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4639155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoughtlessblogger/pseuds/thoughtlessblogger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But his morning routine is the same every day, which is why when he sees a snake draped across his sofa out of the corner of his eye as he walks through to his kitchen he doesn't think anything of it. He's still half-asleep, his eyes squinted. He doesn't really know what's happening, but the snake is on his sofa, all cute and slimy, and that's fine.</p><p>Until it's not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snakes and Calla Lilies

**Author's Note:**

> Another short little thing I wrote this morning.  
> If you want come find me on tumblr at [thoughtlessblogger](http://www.thoughtlessblogger.tumblr.com)  
> Hope you enjoy!!!

Harry would consider himself a morning person, but only after he's had a few minutes to himself to shower and stumbled into his kitchen to start his tea. It's the same process every morning, the same path he takes down his hall, through the sitting area and into his tiny kitchen that can only hold two people, but only if they know how to move in sync with each other.

It's a bit mundane probably, but for a half-asleep Harry it works because he knows exactly what he's doing and exactly where he's going, which is why that one time that Niall moved all his furniture a little bit to the left Harry ended up with six bruises on his thighs and a broken toe. He hadn't spoken to Niall in a week after that.

But his morning routine is the same every day, which is why when he sees a snake draped across his sofa out of the corner of his eye as he walks through to his kitchen he doesn't think anything of it. He's still half-asleep, his eyes squinted. He doesn't really know what's happening, but the snake is on his sofa, all cute and slimy, and that's fine.

It's not until he's made it into the kitchen and is in the middle of pulling a mug out of the cabinet that he realizes. His eyes widen slowly and he sets the mug back, shutting the cabinet door as quietly as possible.

Was that really a snake on his sofa? Surely not. There's no way. He doesn't have a pet snake. Or does he? No. He'd definitely remember if he'd picked one up on his way home last night. It must have gotten through his window, except all his windows were shut. Are there even snakes in London?

He shakes his head. There's no way it was a snake. He was half-asleep. His eyes were barely open. It was probably just a scarf or something. Choosing to check anyway, he slowly turns around and takes the two steps to the doorway. He stands there, barely breathing, and cranes his neck to look into the room.

And there, on his sofa, slithering around, is a snake.

He's not a snake expert or anything, but he's pretty sure this is some sort of boa because the thing is _fucking huge_. Before he can react, the snake lifts it's head, it's eyes meeting Harry's, and hisses.

Harry loses his shit. If anyone asks he'd be completely honest with them and admit that he let out the highest pitch scream in the world as he ran from the room back into the kitchen. He leaps onto his counter, grabbing a pan he had sitting out.

_What the fuck does he do?_

There's a huge snake in his flat, he has no idea how it got there, or what to do and he can't stop screaming. Who knows how long this thing has been in here with him. _Oh god_. What if it were in his bed with him? Oh god. Jesus fucking Christ. 

Harry hasn't had a reason to hyperventilate in years, but he thinks he's pretty close to it now. There's a snake in his flat and he's trapped in his kitchen. His phone is in his bedroom, so he can't call anyone. Who would he even call anyway? Niall has a deathly fear of snakes and would probably pass out at the mention of Harry being trapped by one. Liam would most likely want to kill it, but Harry doesn't want the thing dead. He just wants it out of his flat, far away from him.

Right as he has resigned himself into thinking he's going to be eaten by a snake, he hears someone pounding on his door. He also realizes that he's still screaming, so he tries to calm himself and he manages to enough so that he can hear Niall yelling through the door.

Harry wants to yell at him not to come in, but at the same time, _Harry's trapped with a snake_ , so Niall's fear of them be damned. He hears the door being flung open and he thanks every god out there that he gave Niall a spare key. It's a few seconds before Niall's running into the kitchen, wide-eyed and panicked as he spots Harry curled up on the counter, clutching a frying pan to his chest.

“What?” Niall yells at him, coming closer to him. “What is it, Harry? Is there another spider?”

In normal circumstances Harry would glare at Niall for bringing that up because it was a tarantula that no one warned him about, but this isn't normal. 

“Seriously, Harry, ya got to stop screaming and tell me what's goin' on.”

It takes him a little while to be able to stutter out “Snake”, but when he does Niall's brow furrows in confusion.

“Snake? What the fuck you on about, Styles?”

“Snake on my sofa,” Harry gasps out, pointing the pan at the doorway. 

Niall's eyes follow the path of the pan before he turns his head to look at the door completely. He glances back at Harry, then back at the door. He looks back at Harry one more time, lips pursed, before he walks into the other room.

Harry has enough sense in him still to know this isn't going to be good. He listens intently, but Niall's quiet, even as he jogs back into the room. He stops in front of Harry, breathing heavily.

“That's a fucking snake!” he yells, jumping up next to Harry on the counter, curling himself around Harry. “What the fuck?”

“I don't know!”

“Why is it here?”

“I don't know!”

“Why's it on your sofa?”

“I don't know!”

“What the fuck is going on here?”

At the sound of the unfamiliar voice, Harry and Niall's heads shoot up to stare at the stranger standing in his doorway. Harry's seen him a couple of times before, thinks his name might be Louis, knows he lives across the hall from him.

Admittedly, Harry's always had a bit of a crush on him, but he's never been able to work up the courage to say anything to him aside from a casual “Good morning”. And he knows it's ridiculous because there's a snake in his flat and his best friend is a second away from passing out next to him, but he's so focused on Louis right now that he can't think about anything other than how breathtaking he is in his pajama bottoms, a white, scoop neck t-shirt, and hair disheveled like he'd been dragged out of bed before he was able to properly wake up. He probably had been by all your screaming, Harry reminds himself.

Louis's still standing in the doorway, blinking rapidly at them. Right. He'd asked a question. “Um,” Harry draws out. “There's a snake on my sofa.”

Surprisingly enough, Louis doesn't react outwardly to that. “There's a snake on your sofa?”

“Yes.”

“How long has it been there?”

“No idea.”

“Is it a boa?”

Beside him, Niall mutters, “What the fuck does it matter? It's a snake.”

Harry ignores him, keeping his attention on Louis. “I think so?”

Louis cocks an eyebrow. “You asking me or telling me?”

“Pretty sure it's a boa,” he says. “On my sofa,” he adds, hoping Louis finally gets the intensity of the situation.

He doesn't seem to as he lets out a sigh and turns around. “Hold on.” Harry can't ask him what he means because Louis's walking out of the kitchen and out of his sight.

If he strains enough, he can hear Louis talking softly, but can't make out any of the actual words he's saying. Surely he's not sweet talking a snake? But then again, Harry knows next to nothing about this man. It could actually _be his_.

Sure enough, Louis comes walking back into the room with the snake wrapped around his body. Louis seems smaller than Harry and the snake is huge, so it's hanging off Louis in several places, but it's head is carefully placed in Louis's hand.

Niall squeaks, trying his best to hide between Harry and the wall.

“Why are you holding it?” Harry asks, voice higher than normal. “What are you doing?”

“Relax,” Louis says, softly. “Arnie here isn't going to hurt anyone. Are ya, Arnie?”

Harry blinks. “Arnie? So it is yours?”

Louis takes his attention away from where he'd been cooing at the snake – Arnie – and tilts his head slightly. “Uh, no. Actually, I'm not too fond of snakes, but it's me mates, Zayn's. He's out of town for a while and needed me to watch Arnie.” He grimaces. “He told me that Arnie was usually okay being let out of his tank for a while. I'm so sorry. I didn't think he'd mange to get out of me flat and over to yours.” Louis shoots him an apologetic smile. “He's pretty harmless. Just likes to cause trouble.”

“He seems fine,” Harry replies, eying the snake wearily.

“Can we get the thing out of here?” Niall asks, voice muffled because he's got his face buried into the fabric on Harry's back.

Louis blinks over to Niall. “Oh. Uh, yeah. No problem. Gotta start getting ready for work anyway.”

He starts to take a step toward the door and Harry really doesn't want him to leave. He's spent the better part of six months pining over this man, knowing nothing about him, but knowing he wants to get to know him, and now he's finally here in his flat, but Harry can't bring himself to say anything. He silently curses Niall and his fear of snakes.

Louis stops when he reaches the doorway. He turns back around. “I really am sorry about this,” he says, eyes staring into Harry's. “I'll make sure it doesn't happen again.”

Harry shakes his head, pushing Niall off of him and slowly climbing off the counter. “Nah, it's fine. I'm awake now.”

Louis nods, turns, but stops and turns back around. “I really am so sorry, Harry.”

He doesn't give Harry a chance to respond or question him on knowing his name, because he's scurrying out of the room and Harry's left blinking after him. 

It's not until they here the door shut that Niall's sighing and Harry can hear him climbing off the counter. “Who the fuck was that?”

“Louis.”

Niall moves to stand in front of him. “Wh-.” He cuts himself off, eyes widening. “Wait. That was Louis?” he asks, motioning behind. “Louis the attractive neighbor that you have wet dreams about?”

“I do not!” Harry chokes out. 

“Well, whatever. He was definitely checking you out, though,” Niall says, moving toward the door. “I'm gonna go now.”

Harry chooses to ignore the checking out comment because _no_. That wasn't a thing that was happening. “What? Why? You just got here.”

Niall turns back to him, eye brows raised. “Are you serious, Harry? There's a snake in this building and I know about it. A snake that can move from flat to flat. I'm not staying here a second later.”

Harry sighs. “Yeah, okay.”

Niall doesn't say anything else and Harry's left wanting to beat his head against the wall because _of-fucking-course_ his first actual interaction with Louis would take place when Harry is perched on his counter, clutching a frying pan, and screaming like a child.

If he had any chance with Louis before it's gone now. He sighs. He'll just go drown himself in the shower, he thinks before remembering that he's already had one and his hair has been sopping wet the whole time.

 _Great_. 

Just one more thing to add to the list of embarrassments. He'll never be able to look Louis straight in the eye again. He sighs again, deciding he should go back to sleep because his day has been shit already. He'll call off work. Yeah that's what he'll do.

 

When he wakes up a few hours later, he makes his way through his flat. As he's rummaging through his fridge for _something_ quick he can eat, he realizes there was something sitting on his kitchen table. He straightens up, letting the door shut. He turns around slowly and cocks his head to the side.

On his table is bouquet of calla lilies, a card sticking up through the middle. He walks over to it, grabbing the card. He takes a second to admire how amazing the flowers smell and look – is amazed that whoever put these here knew they were his favorite – before reading the card.

**Sorry I sort of broke into your flat, but I didn't want to leave these outside. I know this can't make up for the scare of having a fully grown boa in your flat, but I hope it's a start. I would also very much like to take you to dinner. Although that's more of a personal thing than an apology. (If you'd rather it be for an apology please tell me and we'll forget about the rest of this note.) I've been quite enamored with you for quite sometime. I hope this isn't too forward, but now that I have a reason to talk to you I'm going to use it for my advantage. So, please let me take you to dinner?**  
**Louis :)**

After his signature, Louis has included his number. Harry has to read over it several times before he's positive he isn't dreaming or making it up.

Louis's asked him on a date. Like an actual date and it's all because of a fucking snake. His life is so weird.

Taking out his phone, he quickly programs Louis's number into his phone and types out a **I'd love for you to take me to dinner.** Then he adds, **this is Harry, btw** just in case because there's no way he's letting this opportunity pass him up.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated.  
> Thank you for reading!!!


End file.
